Thinking of having a second child has been the most tormenting thought for me since we had Kyra. Before she hit 40 days, all our friends were asking us when we were thinking of having baby #2 & that it would be better not to delay. This has been an ongoing debate with the family too since we had Kyra (they wanted #2 a week later), as to hubby & I, depending on our moods, we alternate between wanting to try for another baby in a month or 10 years.
So mainly I’m totally lost. We’re so lost. It’s just so hard, to consciously decide, that you will replace your first-born. Well ok not exactly replace, but to bring someone into this world to share mommy & daddy’s love. So, what we knew for sure was that we would not try before Kyra got a bit older. From what I have read, ideally it is best to wait at least between 18-24 months before trying again to limit the risks of pregnancy complications, but also not to exceed 5 years, especially if you would like a third eventually like I do.
But how do people do it?? I think when it happens accidentally, it’s probably easier & once the initial shock wears off I guess the couple would be happy if they want more than one kid. But if you’re trying to plan things a bit & are trying to decide on a certain time frame, how do you do it? At first, I thought that I would prefer to have a second child before Kyra weaned, to limit the jealousy a bit & because having an experienced nursing child would help manage the difficulties faced in the early weeks of breastfeeding a newborn. Then I started thinking that well, maybe I’d like to take a small break in between & wait until Kyra weans before I go for #2.
And although Kyra lovessss other kids, she just loves them as long as they don’t come close to either of us (mommy, daddy, grandpa, etc,…)At this point, she even gets jealous if mommy & daddy hug & if we make the mistake of carrying someone else’s baby…OH MY GOD! She totally freaks out about it. So I think, this scares us even more. To all you mamas out there with more than one child, how did you come to make that decision? How did you cope with running after a toddler while pregnant? What do you feel are the pros & cons of the age difference between your children? I would love it if you shared your experiences, maybe then the idea wouldn’t be so terrifying. ❤