This post is written by Lama Hassan, 1st time mommy of baby Hicham who sees the world as his own personal playground & he can’t wait to explore it. On his 1st birthday, his mommy wanted to be a tribute to his 1st year of life…this is their story ❤
A year ago, on the 26th of May, at 9:00 am, my baby boy came to life. And the special journey begun.
Today my munchkin is one year old, it is surreal to me. I can still remember on the 22nd of September 2014 I knew I was pregnant, I did the pregnancy test 4 times, yes 4 times to make sure I saw “pregnant”, I remember how my heart stopped, how I started turning around myself like a crazy person. I had to wait one month to go to the doctor, and that was it, that was the first time I heard the heartbeat, I had goosebumps and tears, lots of mixed feelings.
And this is when it all started, I used to wait each month for my appointment to see my baby on ultrasound growing, developing, and moving. I read books that kept me in the loop of what was going on now inside of me, and I could feel every single thing, and every change. And the kicks, on my God, the kicks… this feeling inside of me, a human being inside of me, who was growing, who had hiccups (which I have videos of my belly popping inside out) who was reacting to when I eat, when I move, when I put a headset on my belly… It was not easy, the first 4 months I had a non-stop phase of nausea due to pregnancy, it became easier later on though.
I remember on the 24th I asked my hubby to go out for a romantic sunset late lunch, as I could feel his birth was getting closer. After that I came home, I couldn’t sleep till 3AM as my baby wouldn’t stop kicking and moving around. And that was the day I gave birth, that was it, THE DAY, at 9:00 am my baby came to life, I can still remember my doctor asked me to push hard as much as I can, and then HICHAM, HICHAM is here….
I held my baby skin to skin he was crying and the moment I held him he stopped. This moment, this special moment, no words can describe it…
And a whole new phase started…with all the excitement, came many challenges. The first quarter after birth was not easy , my munchkin was the kind who breastfed almost all day long and didn’t sleep or nap. People around me started telling me he is still hungry that I need to supplement that my milk was not enough. But my instincts were strong that kept me going and breastfeeding on demand and I started my own research and after a month I joined breastfeeding support groups and I saw amazing strong mamas that were super mamas who motivated me. I was also lucky to be in touch with an amazing mama Chrystel who literally helped me with many obstacles I faced.
I discovered another side of me, a stronger ME, that when I should be very weak and tired, instead I was stronger, each time I looked at Hicham’s face, a power stronger than me pushed me to keep on going.
After 4 months I got back to work, it was heart-breaking to leave my baby but at work they were flexible enough that I work half days at the office and half days at home. I never felt embarrassed to pump at work, instead I felt proud, my colleagues knew I was pumping and they were very supportive, I even pump and work on my laptop at the same time, isn’t it great? My work requires lots of concentration and no time to waste and I have lots of responsibilities. Many times, I had to leave meetings to pump, I had to say I need 15 minutes, they would smile and got I was pumping, never faced people criticizing, and if they did I don’t care really. I never thought I would keep breastfeeding and pumping with all the sickness i have been through the 1stquarter after birth, with all the stress and work and a super hyper baby, who started doing everything very early, who wouldn’t take a bottle, who had early teeth and bit me all the time and gave me severe wounds. Despite all the sleepless nights (as my baby still wakes up every 2 hours), when I get the chance to sleep, all I think about is I cannot wait to see my baby’s face first thing in the morning.
People ask me, how can you do it? How can you manage all of this? Don’t you get tired?
YES, yes I get tired of course, and yes I miss sleeping a long night in peace, but would I replace those sleepless nights? No, I wouldn’t. I even take my baby with me when I travel for work, some would think I am crazy, I think I am just being a mommy.
He started standing up at 7 months, walking around with support, and then he started his own tiny steps when he was 9 months, but now mastering it, following me around the house, holding stuff heavier than him and moving along, this makes me laugh each time. He yells, screams, cries, laughs, communicates on his own way, jumps, claps his hands, stomps his feet, sings when I sing, imitates gestures and words. Would I replace all of that with a few hours of rest? No, I wouldn’t.
Today my baby is one year old, ONE YEAR OLD, I still feel as if I am dreaming, as if it was just yesterday that I found out I was pregnant. I miss him every minute I am away, every single minute.
This special bond is the best feeling I have ever felt in my whole life, my baby’s love is a power stronger than anything else. I am also thankful for the support of my special mom and hubby.
I am one proud mama, who cannot wait to see what her baby will do next, and what surprises this life is hiding. A year ago, was the day that turned my life upside down…