Well if you’re reading this, then you’ve read the first part of “20 things no one told me about motherhood” & have not been scared into celibacy quite yet. Let me know how you feel at the end of this post :P.
11-You will invent new swear words for teething. It doesn’t matter how tough you are, or how good you are at handling sleep deprivation, you WILL hate teeth & all that is teeth related & you will cry over your baby being such a terrible teether. You will only find comfort by ranting about teething to your other mom friend whose baby is just as bad as yours.
12-You will never eat or drink anything at their right temperature. Cold coffee or melted ice cream, no matter what it is you are trying to shove your face with as quickly as possible, your kid WILL interrupt you. Learn to acquire new tastes & tell yourself that cold coffee is a frozen mocha you got from Starbucks…maybe pour your melted ice cream in your coffee while you’re at it
13-You WILL eventually break down & hand them that phone. Or iPad or whatever electronic gadget that can keep them sitting still & quiet for 2 seconds so you can wipe your own butt or maybe get them to take a bite of a banana since they’ve been refusing to eat for 6 days. And even though you KNOW it’s not recommended before age 2, & you’ve sworn you would never be THAT mom but sometimes you really have absolutely no other way & you mentally kick yourself in the butt for doing that for the next month.
14-You will always have an audience for your bathroom breaks. Even if the whole family is there to entertain baby while you sneak away to the bathroom ALONE, baby WILL find you, or cry for you, & you’ll end up running out of there like a crazy person, or leaving the door open while they watch you with a mischievous grin on their face & point to you saying PIPI.
15-Showers aaaah showers. Yeah well, you will miss your long uninterrupted showers & applying hair masks while you enjoy the hot water. Soap, lather, rinse & run to your baby who all of a sudden is screaming for you & needs you urgently for no apparent reason
16-Manis & Pedis will become a luxury. If you were anything like I was pre-baby & visited your salon at least twice a week, well forget about it. Even if you do manage to squeeze in some time for yourself, be sure that the minute you get home your nails WILL get ruined. Last time I almost cried (well ok cried lol) over my ruined pedicure that would take me another month to squeeze in again.
17-You will fall in love all over again with your baby’s daddy. Thought your hubby was a hotty? Wait till daddy/hubby takes baby out of bed in the morning, changes the diaper & lets you sleep in for an extra hour or 2, then wakes you up with baby & a cup of coffee. Now that’s hot!!!
18-You will cry at least 50% more than you ever did before. Tears of exhaustion, joy, frustration, pride or sleep deprivation, just be sure that there will be a whole lot of crying involved. And yes that puppy in that commercial was so cute he made you cry for 20 minutes…all normal mama.
19-You will feel judged all the time. No matter what it is you do in life, there will be others who will judge. Stay at home mom? Working mom? Both of you will get judged…I know as a stay at home mom I’ve gotten the “ohhh that’s why you’re still breastfeeding” or “it must be so relaxing”. NO IT’S NOT, it’s hectic as hell & time consuming if you want to actually spend time with your kid & help their little minds grow. You will miss the adult time, having something to dress up for (other than PJs), the interactions with others your age & doing more than singing Old Mac Donald’s 20,000 times a day…but still, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
20-You will be the happiest you’ve ever been your entire life. Nothing much to explain here…the overwhelming feeling of love you will have for your child is well… happiness in a nutshell.
Love your babies…they grow up so fast. Love life…it goes by even faster ❤